 Halloween jokes |
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 Oct 21 2009, 05:42 PM
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#1
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 UFO's in the sky - in 15th Century - imagine that  Group: Admin Posts: 22,755 Joined: 5-July 04 From: Zeta Reticuli Member No.: 4  |
Signs You Are Too Old For Halloween You get winded from knocking on the door. You have to have someone chew the candy for you. You ask for high fiber candy only. When someone drops a candy bar in your bag, you lose your balance and fall over. People say, "Great Keith Richards mask!" and you're not wearing a mask. When the door opens you yell, "Trick or..." and you can't remember the rest. You have to carefully choose a costume that won't dislodge your hair piece. You're the only Power Ranger in the neighborhood with a walker. You avoid going to houses where your ex-wives live. -------------------- "America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves."
Abraham Lincoln Light - more light. There are many echoes in the world but few voices. Johann Wolfgang von Goethe |
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Oct 27 2009, 03:02 PM
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#2
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UFO's in the sky - in 15th Century - imagine that Group: Admin Posts: 22,755 Joined: 5-July 04 From: Zeta Reticuli Member No.: 4 |
Two men were walking home after a Halloween party and decided to take a shortcut through the cemetery just for laughs. Right in the middle of the cemetery they were startled by a tapping noise coming from the misty shadows. Trembling with fear, they found an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at one of the headstones. "Holy cow, Mister," one of them said after catching his breath, "You scared us half to death -- we thought you were a ghost! What are you doing working here so late at night?" "Those fools!" the old man grumbled. "They misspelled my name!" -------------------- "America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves."
Abraham Lincoln Light - more light. There are many echoes in the world but few voices. Johann Wolfgang von Goethe |
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Oct 28 2009, 09:50 PM
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#3
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UFO's in the sky - in 15th Century - imagine that Group: Admin Posts: 22,755 Joined: 5-July 04 From: Zeta Reticuli Member No.: 4 |
Three vampires walk into a bar. The waitress comes up to them and asks them what they'll have. The first vampire says, "I'll have a glass of O Positive." The second vampire says, "I'll have a glass of AB Negative." The third vampire says, "I'm the designated driver. I'll just have a glass of plasma." The waitress turns toward the bartender and yells, "Gimme two bloods and one blood lite!" -------------------- "America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves."
Abraham Lincoln Light - more light. There are many echoes in the world but few voices. Johann Wolfgang von Goethe |
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Oct 29 2009, 05:32 PM
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#4
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UFO's in the sky - in 15th Century - imagine that Group: Admin Posts: 22,755 Joined: 5-July 04 From: Zeta Reticuli Member No.: 4 |
Q: What do birds give out on Halloween night? A: Tweets. Q: Why do vampires need mouthwash? A: They have bat breath. -------------------- "America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves."
Abraham Lincoln Light - more light. There are many echoes in the world but few voices. Johann Wolfgang von Goethe |
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Oct 30 2009, 11:32 AM
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#5
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UFO's in the sky - in 15th Century - imagine that Group: Admin Posts: 22,755 Joined: 5-July 04 From: Zeta Reticuli Member No.: 4 |
Q: What kind of car does a ghost drive? A: A Boo-ick. ------------------------------------------------------------ Monster 1: "I hear you've met the perfect guy." Monster 2: "Oh yes, he's a bad dream come true!" ----------------- Girl 1: "Can I invite a few friends to your Halloween party?" Girl 2: "Sure. The more, the scarier!" ----------------- Knock, Knock Who's there? Ivan Ivan Who? Ivan to suck your blood! ------------------------------- Q: Who did Frankenstein take to the prom? A: His ghoul friend. Q: When does a ghost have breakfast? A: In the moaning. -------------------- "America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves."
Abraham Lincoln Light - more light. There are many echoes in the world but few voices. Johann Wolfgang von Goethe |
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Nov 2 2009, 05:53 PM
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#6
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 Shiksa drowning in a sea of Pod People Group: Admin Posts: 11,213 Joined: 5-July 04 Member No.: 2 |
 Okay, those are really, really bad. Really bad. So bad I had to laugh.
-------------------- Psa 40:8 I delight to do thy will, O my God: yea, thy law [is] within my heart.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6-7, NIV) |
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Nov 3 2009, 11:41 AM
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#7
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 An armed man is a citizen. An unarmed man is a subject. Group: Admin Posts: 3,528 Joined: 5-July 04 From: By the shores of Gitchee-Goomie. Member No.: 5 |
QUOTE (unapecora @ Nov 2 2009, 11:53 PM)  Okay, those are really, really bad. Really bad. So bad I had to laugh. Noah liked them. 
-------------------- It would appear that we have reached the stage where life ceases to give us things and starts to take them away.
Speaking of the economy, which came first---the dead chicken, or the lack of eggs? |
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| Lo-Fi Version | Time is now: 21st November 2009 - 05:07 PM |
